intimacy in marriage


Safeguard Your Relationships
By Gary and Barbara Rosberg
America's Family Coaches

(c) 2000 by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg
Used with Permission

To put it bluntly, it is easy for a man to begin capturing another woman's heart without even realizing it. You think you're just having an enjoyable conversation with a co-worker, but she may see it as the only attention she's had all week. Before you know it, your conversations move from friendly chatter to intimate subjects.

I'm not suggesting you can't have friendships with other women. I'm only warning you that it's easier than you think the capture the heart of another woman outside your marriage.

Here are some danger signals to look for in other women:

- Flattery

- Intense eye contact

- Inappropriate gushing

- Excessive reference to your importance

- Wanting to talk about intimate topics

- Touching your arm or rubbing your back during conversation

- Talking more about you than about her husband

- Performing as if you're her audience

Think of it this way, if this woman invited you into her house and you were alone, would the topics and the conversation stay the same as they do in public and/or with an audience? If she is suggestive in her conversation, confiding about her husband's not meeting her needs, causing you to sympathize with her or pity her, watch out. Does she tells stories that have any suggestive tone or lead you to see her in that light? Does she make references to her body or inferences about her bedroom?

I know this may sound extreme, but it is best if you do not encourage touch with a woman other than your wife. If a woman is touching physically, it's a good indication she is touching emotionally. If you are accessing the emotions of a woman other than your wife, you are entering a major danger zone. It is as intimate for her as preparing for sex. It is that serious. No matter how appealing the attention of another woman is to your manhood, an innocent friendship can quickly take you by surprise and lead you down a path that you'll soon regret.

A word of advice: trust your wife's instincts in this area. If she suggests that another woman is behaving inappropriately, your wife is probably right. Most women have radar, and innate alertness to nonverbal communication and an ability to translate body language into emotional facts. Your wife probably is able to see these things clearly, so don't criticize our blame her warnings on insecurity. Regard it as a gift from God that will keep you out of danger.

Part Seven:  "The Rewards of Emotional Intimacy"

(Editor's Note:  Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg are America's Family Coaches!  As such, their ministry includes a powerful and yet practical approach to building your family and marriage.  I first heard Gary speak at a Promise Keeper's event.  To this day, his message of "guarding your heart" and "staying focused on your family" has impacted my life.  Both Gary and Barbara are gifted and powerful speakers.  Please take a moment to consider how your marriage can benefit from their ministry, whether through visiting their website, purchasing one of their best-selling books, listing to their popular radio program, or attending a life-changing seminar.  You can also reach them toll-free by dialing 1-888-ROSBERG.)   





Point to Ponder:

"If America followed God's plan for physical intimacy (meaning sex with only one partner), then sexually transmitted diseases could be wiped out in only one generation."


(c) 2003 Caton Development, Inc.

marriage intimacy